God must hate me

Bah this has been the slowest week ever.
I have never felt so worthless in my entire life. Or so poor.
I feel like I am just annoying everyone with everything I do.
I'm sorry for just walking in on you today Jake. I'm the worst friend.
I get the feeling that I am not entirely welcome in my own apartment.
But I guess that comes with the fact that I can't even pay rent this month.
I find that I can't bring myself to discuss my present situation and desires with even my closest friends.
I still love him and hate it when I have to hold myself back.
I am sorry if I am leading you on- I'm trying so hard not to.
I hate that I am a grouch when I get woke up from a nap.
I would have done it if you were not there. And I hate that I wanted to.
I want to smoke...
But even more I want to drink until I can't feel feelings anymore.
I don't like asking my parents for money when they are as broke as I am.
I wish I knew what I expected to find in life.
I'm glad I have awesome receptionists at work. I heart you Jenni. And I will come paint with you at any time Marisio. Thanks for trusting me.
I love the freedom I have working.
I appreciate my parents being honest with me these days.
I like having a place I can actually call a home.
I want to try everything new.
I want to go exploring and create new adventures.
I want to feel needed.
I want to be loved.
I want to take my tree with me.
...I want to find my place with God.