It's like you're a drug dreading to see you everyday
It's like you're a demon I can't face down too afraid of what might happen
It's like I'm stuck I can't seem to escape you in my life
It's like I'm running from you all the time you always seem to be everywhere
And I know I let you have all the power worst mistake of our lives
It's like the only company I seek is misery all around trying to change
It's like you're a leech sucking everything good out of the things I try to do
Sucking the life from me time seems to go backward
It's like I can't breathe like I'm reliving the nightmare of our past
Without you inside of me I want you out, out of my head and my sorry heart
And I know I let you have all the power why did you have to abuse us
And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time it wont stop hurting, everything you said, all the promises you made, all the dreams we had together- I've tried to forget but the wound pierced deep into my very soul
It's like I can't breathe my heart stops just remembering
It's like I can't see anything your face is always in my head
Nothing but you I want anything but you
I'm addicted to you I miss your kisses...
It's like I can't think so many emotions clouding my mind!
Without you interrupting me everything has to remind me of you
In my thoughts wasted years
In my dreams sleepless nights
You've taken over me please let me go
It's like I'm not me I just want to be free
It's like I'm not me let me be me for once
It's like I'm lost I don't know where to go
It's like I'm giving up slowly don't know what to do
It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me just around every corner
Leave me alone GET OUT OF MY LIFE
And I know these voices in my head constant confusion
Are mine alone but they started with you
And I know I'll never change my ways just afraid to
If I don't give you up now I want to be rid of all the bad
It's like I can't breathe
It's like I can't see anything
Nothing but you
I'm addicted to you
It's like I can't think
Without you interrupting me
In my thoughts
In my dreams
You've taken over me
It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm not me
I'm hooked on you I need to see you just one more time
I need a fix I'll be fine I promise
I can't take it just this last time and that's it
Just one more hit just one more kiss
I promise I can deal with it save me, somebody
I'll handle it, quit it I need to break the habit
Just one more time no I don't need you
Then that's it I'm only confusing myself now
Just a little bit more to get me through this please stop
I'm hooked on you
I need a fix
I can't take it
Just one more hit
I promise I can deal with it
I'll handle it, quit it
Just one more time
Then that's it
Just a little bit more to get me through this
It's like I can't breathe this shit is so overwhelming
It's like I can't see anything the haze is so thick
Nothing but you I'm breaking away from your gaze
I'm addicted to you I can't take the torture anymore
It's like I can't think get the fuck out of my head
Without you interrupting me will you never learn?
In my thoughts I will be myself
In my dreams you won't be here forever
You've taken over me and now you're gone
It's like I'm not me I finally have my space
It's like I'm not me get out goodbye...
Ugh why the hell are you still in my life?? Why is it how you can still care about someone who treated you so badly while you were with them? I want his torturing me to be over and done with. I want him out of my head-- I don't want to think about him, worry about him, or hate him anymore... I want to be able to move on with my life...
I feel ridiculous for even saying it still- how much I'm not over him. Ridiculous because it's almost been a year since I broke up with him, almost that long since I stopped fooling around with him (yes, I was fucking dumb...), and most of all because I've been dating someone else for 9 months now... Ugh I feel so stupid! Plus I told Casey that I never had the chance or the time to get over Matt and now I think he feels obligated to help me get over him but nothing he will do could ever help... And I don't want things to get bad for us ugh.
Things are so frustrating sometimes I just don't know what to do anymore... I'm tired of being attached to Matt still. He needs to stop being so stupid. He needs to stop contacting me-- I'm so tired of worrying about him and talking to him and listening to his stupid complaining about how hard his life is and how muc money he is making and losing with all his drugs and what drugs he's doing and how much he misses me and won't get over me and how lonely he is and I'm fucking tired of his stupid cries for pity from me-- I just can't do it anymore! He's exhausting my mind and therefore my body because I can't sleep because I worry and/or he texts me and keeps me up late...
I'm so done. I think I'm just going to stop texting him back. It's done and over- I need to move on with my life and find a place where I can be and do anything I want- I want tojust be alone for a while where all I have to do is take care of myself and not worry about anything or anybody for a time-- I've finally realized that this is my chance to be selfish. Aaaand I think I'm going to take it...
Nobody should live their life
Doing only what is good
For everyone else.
It's good to care for those you love,
But you can't stop caring for yourself.
Everyone needs to be selfish
In order to really live-
Take the time to chase your own dreams;
Why else would we be here?
