Sunday, September 28, 2008

thank you dear god

My first interview as a massage therapist and I got the job.

I was scared as hell, but I knew from the first presentation that I had to work for this company.

They're known as Massage and Spa Express. The owner, Pam Anderson, probably the most awesome person I have ever met. She believes in spirit guides. She talked about them in her presentation.

"Learn to love and honor the great Seraswati," she said.

Seraswati is the goddess inside everyone. She is the goddess of knowledge and learning. Her counterpart is the goddess of wealth and growth (regrettably I forget her name).

But if you learn to love and honor the great Seraswati- learning to give yourself freely and cheerfully without expecting anything in return, the goddess of wealth and growth will become jealous because you are not giving her the attention she wants, so she will bless you with so much that you won't know what to do with everything she has given you.

We have to work hard in life. Work to live, work to love, work to make money and survive. But Pam believes that if you focus too much on the financial side of life, you soon forget why it is that you are working. You become greedy and only want what's in it for you. People don't like to be on the receiving end of your work at that point and all you get in return is a nasty fall.

Giving yourself lovingly and freely, on the other hand, people will love you and everything you do. Keep your heart and your intentions pure- put forth the work and the effort that everyone will appreciate. Go the extra mile and Seraswati will bless you in learning and love.

This way, everyone wins.

Work with good intentions.
Watch out for those you love.
Do what makes you truely happy.

I know for me, when I make others happy is when I am truely happy.
Putting forth only half the effort and seeing dissatisfaction on the other end never made me happy. And all I ever wanted was to be happy.

I think this job will do me good.
Spiritually, emotionally, physically.

I'm excited to reach that point in my life.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

keep moving forward

Creation vs. Discovery.

This is life. For real.

Everyone always talks about leaving on a journey to find themselves at least once in their life. Granted, I've had my moments also. But is it possible to really lose yourself in the beginning?

I heard a quote the other day- it is what inspired me to rethink how I've been doing and seeing things lately. The quote was:

"Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself."

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it is ABSOLUTELY true. From the moment you are born and start to learn and develop, you begin creating yourself and who you will be. Sure, life is guaranteed to throw the unexpected at you, and you have to find your way around it or through it or however it is that you move on (or don't... for those of us who can't just yet), but the only way to keep moving along the torrentious river that is life is to just keep on rowing, sculpting yourself and building the stamina, experience, but most of all the determination that will make you want to keep rowing till you reach the shoreline that is peace and serenity.

But not all river trips are smooth and easy. You might hit a rock and dent your kayak; it may start to leak or get water spashed in it; you might lose a paddle if the going is really hard; you may fall and get dowsed if that is where your river takes you; and you could possibly get stuck without any way to get out at all... Life is not easy all of the time.

But this is how you create yourself. You create yourself around the experiences that you gain. You decide your attitute and how you choose to go with the flow- things come at all of us and we change and adapt and stay afloat; we slowly fill the dents and patch the holes in our boat with new things that make us feel close to the same happy we were; we look for our lost friends, loves, and paddles, or try to find a new ones that will keep us on course while going through many that wont always do what they should; --it is your perspective on things that will keep you moving, or get you stuck if that is the attitude you give yourself about what comes at you.

Eh. I feel like I am rambling. But I guess what I am trying to say is, if you are not someone you like, create yourself into someone you do. You choose who and what you want to be. Take life as it comes to you and decide to be the better person.

You can be amazing. You have so much potential.
And I believe that is true for everyone and anyone.
You are wonderful.

Go and create yourself into the person you want to be.

Stop this nonsense about 'finding yourself'.
I know at times it may seem like you are lost and wandering...
But stop. Just stop.
Take a step back and look around;
Find the things that make you sincerely happy and hold on so tightly to them
Because they are the things that will pull you through--
You created yourself to love them, remember?
Remember what it felt like to be happy
And choose to go back to learning,
And loving--
Not wandering...

Relearn about yourself and CREATE!